During pregnancy everyone gives advice but no one ever really talks about it...
How your life changes forever, how you die and are reborn and lose yourself in the process, how truly your limits will be tested, how you will touch madness and then come back to yourself...every day or so at least for the first few months. No one tells you that from that day on you will live forever with a piece of heart outside you and that the more you fall in love with that smell, the more concern and sense of responsibility will grow. No one tells you that you will start cooking at noon but you will be able to sit down to eat at 4. Nor do they tell you that it matters little that your puppy sleeps because you will stay awake listening to his wheezes wondering if everything is okay. No one talks about how your arms will burn with pain after hours and hours of holding him. No one says that you take a back seat after giving birth and become invisible and that if you try to say "I'm here" little by little, it reminds you that you should be happy because "your baby is healthy". Everyone says breastfeeding is natural but no one bothers to explain that it's also a socially learned thing and that if you've never had an experience you may not know how to handle the most common problems. Lucky is that woman who knows to contact a lactation consultant at the first sign of a fissure. Instead, she often hears herself saying: "Git your teeth, it will pass!". They didn't dare to talk about the cascade of hormonal swings you'll find yourself facing and the fact that you'll cry without knowing why and then go on laughing like crazy the next moment! They won't tell you that your little one may not make eye contact for the first few weeks and that you will feel emotionally disconnected and confused, nor will they tell you that it will take time to figure out why he's crying or how to comfort him. Nor is it noted that many friends will disappear and as many relatives will appear out of nowhere to give unsolicited advice and criticize your work.
Finally, unless you're really lucky, you won't be told how a simple piece of fabric can turn your day around and at the same time make you feel good, almost as if those lost balances would be restored for a moment. If you only knew that a simple sling can make you feel whole again, as if your little one was safely back in your tummy. What if they told you that the sling could be enough to reduce crying, promote sleep, facilitate your puppy's evacuation and digestion? Fortunate is the woman who, using the sling, can have her arms free to do, create or even just rest, can go out without carrying the arsenal of neonatal means of transport, can feel competent in meeting the primary needs of her baby . Maybe that woman could be told that babywearing and skin-to-skin can encourage breastfeeding, or can fill the void of those mothers who have not been able to breastfeed.
What would you say to a pregnant mother?
Nastasia Morin
Babywearing consultant for the Millemamme association
