"In the embrace – what was once an edge, an interrupted line, a tangle – becomes again, as if by a miracle, a perfect circle." (taken from the web)

From the uterine environment to…

I open my eyes.

Before I was squeezed tightly into the "shell" and for every movement I had an immediate response from its surrounding walls, I rubbed-brushed-pushed with my hands and legs, kicked with my feet, swam. My shell massaged me, spoke to me. Through this communication I was constantly stimulated, now my limbs suddenly snap and I get scared. I seem to fall into the void.

I heard many noises but my favorite was this "tutun tutun" constant day and night and I had learned its cadenced rhythm perfectly. I could recognize him among a thousand. I heard a voice, for me that voice was a melody, which calmed me, accompanied me to sweet sleep. Now there is total silence and I find this silence deafening!

I saw the various shades of light creeping through the walls of my shell. They were soft and warm like the liquid I was swimming in. Now there is a cold and strong beam of light and it hurts my eyes.

On top of that I'm hungry, a horrible feeling I've never felt before! I feel that I'm missing a piece, that part of me that I recognized. When will this agony end? I try to make a whimper, let's see what happens...

Bind me up

I hear noises and I feel lifted from where I am placed. At first I'm scared and I open my hands and close my fists as if to hold on but then I feel my belly resting on a hot surface… but it's the same as the shell! I recognize that beat and the vibration of that voice, the smell of the sea in which I swam, I feel that I am no longer falling, I am supported. I drink the hot liquid and everything seems to fall into place.

Now I am wrapped in a soft material, this brings me even closer to remembering myself when I was still intact. I feel his caress on my body. I feel the other part of me calling me to itself, pulling here and pulling there, it accommodates me in this swaying hammock, my little legs position themselves comfortably like a frog like they were in the shell. Now if I push I immediately find the enveloping softness of the other part of me, the one I had missed so much and I rejoice in this vital exchange. I feel the heat emanating from his chest. I feel contained, transported, supported.

Suddenly the movement. It reminds me of the cadence of the one in the other place. Its rhythmicity gently accompanies me into the world of dreams.

I'm one again, I'm whole again!

Nastasia Morin

Babywearing School Consultant